Lately my hands have been occupied with care taking. These hands hold, soothe, feed, cook, clean but yesterday they made and they wrote. I was able to steal some time in the studio while my newborn slept and my toddler was in childcare. I've always felt torn about childcare, trusting other hands to care, soothe, hold. Now as a single parent however, my choices are limited and I know it is key for my health and therefore my children's health to continue to find a way to make work - currently childcare is a part of that way. I am working hard to drop the guilt about sending my son to childcare and for using that time to make work instead of 'working'. Guilt has been a large part of my dialogue around motherhood, but it's bullshit, I'm really tired of it and I'm working to drop it. Sending my toddler to childcare and making work during that time is the beginning. Besides it is only two days a week that these hands get a glimpse at making again but at this stage it is something.